2nd Birthday (Video)

I can't believe I didn't write a post/have a post written for Everleigh's second birthday (bad mom moment).
There's not a whole lot to say that doesn't get said day to day.
Maybe one day soon I will sit down and put everything into words.
I am SO thankful for Everleigh. For all that she teaches me, has taught me, and has yet to teach me in life. Ev, you are so loved.

An amazing Auntie Winter put this video together for you, on your birthday party day. Enjoy.

School's Out for the Summer!

-cue Kiss music here-
At least...I think it's by Kiss LOL.

The semester is over. School is done for the year. It has been a long hard two semesters. I started in September, moved in November, went to Virginia in December. And then 2013 started and it's been a long four months. But now, I am halfway there. This time in 2014, I will have graduated and will have a diploma in Medical Office Administration.

But that's enough of that. I must admit, I am looking forward to doing a LOT of nothing this summer. I am planning one trip to either VA again or to Florida (to the condo), but other than that, I'm planning to be a homebody. Lots of sleep. Perhaps some exercise. Food, friends, and my kid.

Speaking of Everleigh, she is B-A-D! And by that, I mean she is full swing into the terrible twos. It's not easy. It's incredibly hard. Most times I just want to sit on the floor and cry. She doesn't get time outs, she doesn't listen to no. She is testing the waters, toeing the line, and doing both of them 110%. Being a single mom is fucking hard (excuse my French), but it's also incredibly rewarding. This little person is mine, and all her successes are contributed, in part to me. Then there's the attitude and stubbornness. Those are also my traits, even though I say they come from her father. ;)

When she turns 2 (April 30), we will begin aging out of Early Intervention and into the system that (I'm told) will follow her all through her school years. That in itself is enough to make me cry. I am so fond of our developmental consultant (Sheila), and our occupational therapist (Angela). These ladies have seen Everleigh progress through all her milestones so far...from rolling, to sitting independently, to standing, cruising furniture, walking etc. From learning to bottle feed, to purees, chunks, and on to table food. From babbling, to signs, to beginning words. It's going to be hard to say goodbye to these ladies. The papers have already been signed and the ball has been given that primary push into motion.

I'm hoping I'll have more time to blog this summer, now that school is done. But, we will see haha. With work three days a week and a full-time mom status and a child that is now able to go outside, we will see how much time I actually get to spend blogging LOL

Spread the Word to End the Word

Buddy Walk 2012. Paige, Garratt and Everleigh all sport an extra chromosome.

It is 06.03.13. It is spread the word day.

Do you know what this day signifies? Up until almost two years ago, I didn't either. Today is a day to raise awareness for the thousands of people and their families who are hurt, offended, or otherwise affected by the word retard(ed).

I know, I know.
You didn't mean it that way. You weren't talking about my child. I'm hypersensitive. It's just a word. It does mean slow, so you weren't being rude.
Guess what? I'm fully aware of what retard means. I know it's the French word for slow. To hinder or impede. I also know that unless you put a French infliction to it, you are using it in a derogatory way. And I am working daily on finding the courage to speak up to strangers about it.

YOU may not have meant it that way, but other people do. Medical professionals still use mentally retarded to describe Everleigh and people like her. It is slowly being written out of legislation, but it is society that has to change their way of looking at it. If you called a black person a nigger, you would probably get the shit beat out of you, or be taken up for hate speech. The same as you would never call someone who is Jewish a kike, someone who is Asian a chink. So why is calling someone with an intellectual/developmental disability/delay (I/DD) a retard okay?

97% of people with Down syndrome are happy with who they are. They are HAPPY. People with Down syndrome are now holding jobs, living on their own (or in assisted living communities), falling in love, going to school (and graduating)...they are more integrated in today's society than they ever have been before. Our grandparents are living in assisted living communities, are they retarded? I'd sure hope you don't think that way.

I am rambling. The bottom line is this. If you use that word in every day conversation to describe something as stupid, silly, useless, annoying, or any other synonym you can think of, the chances are I will call you out on it. And if I don't, be assured that I'm coming for you. You don't have to care that my daughter has Down syndrome, that she is percieved as different. You don't even have to care that this word bothers me. But you DO have to listen to me tell you how much the word bothers me. Do with it what you will. I know you will give me a sideways glance the next time you use it, to see if I heard you. I did. My ears are on overdrive. We will have a chat about it again. And again. And again. Because as she grows up, I would love to see the world's views shift at least a little bit. Give her a chance to prove herself before you deem her retarded.

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Dear mom who feels like she needs to quit...

(stolen borrowed from this site that I stumbled upon)

Don't quit.
I know it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and that it really doesn't matter if the dishes are done or that no one really cares that you stayed up till 2 am folding laundry or that you are just overlooked. I know you sit in the car and put your head on the steering wheel and the tears roll down at times. I know that sometimes you just want to throw in the towel and whisper (or scream) that you've had enough of all of this. I know. I know because I have felt that way.
I remember sitting in the bathroom behind the door with my head in my hands thinking that I couldn't do this motherhood thing anymore and that I really didn't matter or make a difference and that I would never ever catch up on laundry - which, by the way, I've never really caught up on. And because I've felt that way I'm writing today to tell you that you, right now, matter more than you might ever realize.
You, and your life, your voice, your giving of self, and all of that matters.

There will be days that are hard. Weeks that are hard. Months that are hard.  But, you can do this. I know you can. You can pick yourself up, brush off the words that hold you back, and you can be mom today. You can look in your children's eyes and tell them how much you love them - even though you are remembering how much they sassed back to you this morning - and you can love them unconditionally. You can make those pbjs for lunch today and sliced apples and can actually get the straw in the juice pouch on the first time. Or the second. You can drive those kids to soccer or ballet or to school or to where ever and you will tell yourself that you sitting in the car with them matters.
Quitting means stopping. And you don't stop.
A wise friend of mine told me this weekend that we only fail when we quit.
Motherhood doesn't look anything like I imagined when I was young. Motherhood doesn't look like those pinterest boards full of birthday ideas with perfect fondant cakes and party favors that take three hours to make. Those moments are there. But seriously, listen to me, those things don't make a mother. Those things, while they are beautiful, they don't really matter in the life journey. Do you know what matters? You. Right now, reading these words, who is about to give of herself for her family.
o you realize what an amazing impact you are leaving? Don't tell me about all the times you've messed up. I've got them as well. But do you remember all the times where you have done well? Or the times when you've been there? Sitting up at one am rocking a toddler with a bad dream. Making dinner out of a pantry that is bare. Giving up on something you need so that your child can get what they need. Helping with math. Reading a story. Folding those clothes. Making lunches. Teaching. Listening to their stories. Being silly. Laughing. Holding the puke bucket. Wiping faces. Putting art on the wall. Watching them sleep.

Those are the moments in life that you are blessed to live.

So you may feel like you want to quit. Don't. Pick up the motherhood towel right now and instead tell yourself you can do this today. You can. You can for your family. Don't look at how Sally is mothering, or what the facebook status states, or the pinterest picture of the perfect mother. You are the perfect mother for your children today. Do not let the world qualify your motherhood. There is no price tag large enough that would ever illustrate the true value of motherhood. You are an amazing gift to your family.

I believe in you.

What are you waiting for? You can do this, sweet mother.

You totally can.

It has been a LONG couple of months. School, work, more school, trying to settle in on my own, bills, more school, therapy, work, school etc. It's just hard to keep up with everything and I'm sorry I've been neglecting to blog. I honestly just don't have enough hours in the day, and sometimes it's all I can do to pull on a pair of pjs (or take off the lived-in clothing of the day) before I climb into bed and pass out before I hit the pillow.

I promise to put my big girl panties on and post more frequently. I went to VA back before Christmas and I keep meaning to blog about it (with pictures!). I'm trying. I promise.

New

New home, new job...

Everleigh and I moved out on our own on November 1st. We only moved across town, so not far from my mom, but it has been harder than I expected. The upside is that the apartment is quiet. There are no dogs barking (but no doggy snuggles either), there are no teenagers squabbling. There is nobody to abandon me to take care of a household of 7 people on my own when my parents aren't home. When I wash dishes, it is only for two people, instead of 7. It has been an adjustment.
I miss hearing my mom come in at night when she gets home from work. I miss seeing her in the early afternoon before she goes to work. More now than ever, I feel like a single parent. I feel how many couples do when they work opposite shifts so that there is always someone home for the kids, I never realized how much I relied on seeing my mom every day (or thereabouts).

I also started my new job at Chrysler. The shifts are only Fridays, Saturdays and Mondays. So far I have only been able to work the Saturday and Monday though, it all depends on what shift my mom is working, because she watches Everleigh while I'm at work. Because I am a TPT, I don't "own" a specific job, though I do belong to a specific area. All this means is that when I go in for a shift, I have no idea what job I will be working! So far I have done headliner install (as part of a four person team), pedal push (where they check the brake lines for leaks), and a job on the engine line (which is not generally where I am, but they were short manpower that day). In all honesty, it's hard, but not as hard as I thought it would be. I was very worried about not being able to pick up these jobs easily, falling behind, stopping the line etc. I worried for nothing. It is a load of stress off my shoulders to know that even when I go in and get put on a different job, I don't have to stress out about not "getting" the job right away.

That's really it for right now. We are in week 9/14 for classes. It is getting a little more stressful. I think as soon as I get internet at the house and am able to catch up on homework and able to start projects, it'll get easier. Wish me luck!

Changes

It's been a pretty busy week so far. I'm officially moving the first of November, and this week off school has been an excellent opportunity to pack and go through everything. But I've been procrastinating with even that. I'm excited to move, but I'm not. It's only across town, but I've lived at home since Everleigh was born, it's going to be an adjustment to not having my mom around to help whenever I need her. But I'm a big girl, I got this :)

I also start work at Chrysler tomorrow. It's technically a temporary part-time (TPT) position, but if you are in good with your supervisor, you can pretty much be guaranteed work every week. It's only Fridays, Saturdays and Mondays, which works out well for this semester. I only have one class Friday mornings, so I can work the afternoon shift, and I don't have classes on Mondays. This is also going to be an adjustment. I've never worked in an industrial plant before, and I've never done line work to this extreme. I'm only hoping that I don't get a totally shitty job and am able to keep up...but I've seen some people that work there, who have NO common sense whatsoever, and if they can do it than I'm sure I can too. (Side note: my mom says she thinks there's a man with Ds who works there, but she's not sure if it's Ds or another intellectual disability....I'd like to meet him and see for myself. Regardless of what specific disability it is, it gives me hope that even in an industrial society, Everleigh may be able to find a job in the future).

Well, that's it in a nut shell. Lots of changes coming up soon, and I can only hope that Everleigh takes to them easily and the moves are seamless and simple for us.

Truth

A fellow blogger momma made this beautiful picture of her daughter, Josie. Because she has right-clicking disabled on her blog, I'll just post the link here.

http://confessionsofthechromosomallyenhanced.blogspot.ca/2012/10/welcome-to-my-world.html