Wednesday, 9 May 2012

You make me out to be something special

Except I'm not. Not even close.

One thing I hear often (from well-meaning people and friends) is that 'special kids are given to special parents'. And while I definitely appreciate the sentiment, I am NOT a special parent...I'm just a parent who is doing the best I can with the hand I was dealt.

Were I a more religious person, I would say that God only gave me what He thought I could handle. But since I'm not (and no offense intended to those who are), I don't think that way. Everleigh having down syndrome is due to a defect at conception. And because of that happening, she has 47 chromosomes instead of 46. But I don't think I'm any more special than you because of it.
Is she special? A gift? Of course she is...all children are. Miracles? Yeah, if that's what you want to call it...and I know many women who can't have children or who are having trouble conceiving and carrying a child to term would definitely call Everleigh a miracle.

But telling me that 'special kids are given to special parents' is putting me on a pedestal I'm not sure I want to be on. I think secretly, deep down, the sentiment actually means 'better you than me, because I couldn't do it'. But let me tell you, you'd find a way. I had no idea prenatally that Ev would have an extra chromosome, or that there would be anything different about her. And when she was born, I definitely had (fleeting) thoughts of whether or not I wanted to keep her...of whether or not I was qualified to raise a child who would have extra needs.

The truth of it is....are any of us ever qualified or truly ready to raise a child? Special needs or not, a child brings a whole host of things that need to be adapted to. And as parents, you just take it all in stride...what else can you do? But that's exactly what I'm getting at. As parents, you take what life has to throw at you. And, heaven forbid, there was an accident that left your child in a wheelchair or with brain damage, you wouldn't think twice about the changes you would need to make in order to ensure your child had the best that they could. The only difference is, there was no accident for me. Everleigh was born with these special needs.

And so I will adapt.
And I will continue to adapt for as long as she needs me to. Because she is my child, and I love her. And wouldn't you do the same for your own child?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Leave us some love!